To me, the word love is a very serious one and shouldn’t be said unless it’s really meant. I hate it when someone gets into a new relationship and almost immediately start saying that they love that person. I mean, how can you fall in love that quickly without getting to know the person? That stuff, I think, only happens in movies.
People say they fell in love at first sight, but is it just because of how attractive that person is? If that were true, I would have been in love so many times by now. To me, loving someone means that you don’t just like their appearance, but their heart and everything else that comes with them.
Saying, “I love you” can be really nerve wracking, I mean especially if you’re still not 100% sure about your feelings. For the past two weeks, after saying goodnight to Jem, I kept thinking about telling him that I love him, but I always think that the guy should tell the girl first, so I didn’t. Then, the other night we were just listening to each other breathing, which is very relaxing, when I asked him if he’d ever wanted to say something but was scared because he didn’t know how the other person would take it. He told me that he did and I was like, “I just wish we could get the courage to finally say what we want and not have this fear.”
Nothing was said after that, but I woke up at 4:30am and looked at the texts he left me for the morning. One of them said that he wanted to say something to me but didn’t. At that, I called him and we talked for a bit before I brought it up. He was sorta silent for a couple seconds and breathed heavily before saying, “I love you, Tessa.” I was quite surprised and got this huge smile on my face, I was also speechless. I was quiet for almost a minute before I told him that I loved him too. I found out later on that for him it was torture waiting for my response.
It’s strange to think that I am in love because I never expected it to happen at such a young age. I have met so many girls, and guys, who have claimed that they have been in love but I never believed them. Some people might ask me how I know I’m in love and I’d tell them that it’s hard to explain. There’s so many factors to it that it would be improper for me to just say, “Because he is the reason I wake up with a smile on my face every morning.”
Sometimes I wonder if I only think that I’m in love. I mean, I’m only seventeen years old, but then I talk to Jem and get all these emotions and I can’t think of reasons why I wouldn’t be in love. I still find it weird to say, but there’s something so special and comforting when someone says it to you and you can say it back to them.
I am really happy with my life at the moment, though there are still lots of obstacles that need to be crossed. I know that whatever I’m going through I have someone who is there for me to lean on and trust. I don’t know what my life would be like right now if I didn’t have Jem in my life. I am so thankful for him and can’t wait until we get to be together again.