I like being home schooled but it does have it's ups and downs. I like how I can work on my lessons at my own pace and not be ashamed to ask simple questions because I know I’m not going to be judged by the only person listening, my tutor Isabella. I also like waking up and realizing that I don’t have to dress to impress (which I’ve never done anyway). I can go to the office, where I do my work, wearing sweats or a sweater that’s three times too big for me if I want to.
I hate when I’m unable to finish the work assigned to me for a day because I start to feel like I’m lacking and not doing good enough. Sometimes I can be too hard on myself about when I don’t finish certain assignments and it takes ages for me to calm down and move on. I also don't get to hang out with teens a lot, but I'm actually ok with that.
I’ve grown up around adults, so I’m used to having to act more mature and carrying on conversations with older people. If I'm being honest, I actually try to avoid hanging out with teen girls because they can be really immature and get obsessed over the stupidest things. I mean I love looking at clothes or famous guys, but that doesn’t mean I go over the top about it and start having a meltdown if I run into anyone famous (which hasn’t happened yet) or find the “cutest” pair of shoes. I think this is the reason why all my friends are boys.
My best friend, Anthony, and I have been friends for almost 5 years now and I couldn't ask for a greater friend. He can be dramatic and over think things sometimes, but somehow we are always able to calm each other down. We’ve had our disagreements but we barely ever fight. Anthony is pretty mature for his age and he’s able to strategize before doing things without thinking. He is also an amazing writer! I can't wait for his book to be complete and maybe even published. You're going to read more and more about Anthony over time because he is a big part of my life, for which I am grateful.
My other close friend is Nathan. I've known him for about a year now and we get on really well. We like the same movies, tv shows, books, even music. We do have a difference in opinion on a couple thing, but sometimes Nathan’s mom, Isabella, thinks that we could be twins. Nathan’s serving his 3 years in the army right now, so I only get to see him once a week, which isn’t enough, so I cherish the time we do spend together. Somehow, every time I go over to his house I become hyper and even act a bit drunk (even though I don't drink). I start to be all smart mouthed and can just whip out amazing comebacks, this usually make us go into hysterics. We can't stop laughing nearly the whole time we are together. I’m thankful to have a friend that I’m comfortable enough with to let see my really crazy side, because not many people have. I have to be really comfortable around that person for them to see it. I never even let Will see my maniac side.
This Monday, almost all my friends started either their senior year or their first semester at college (yes, I have smart friends). :P I got a bit jealous at this because I wish I was there with them. I’m starting to get really fed up of school and just want it to be done. But I'm not. I'm not even half way through 11th grade. I'm just praying that I can finish this year quickly so I can start my senior year to just be done with school.
The only problem with wishing I was finished with school is the fact that right after I finish I’ll have to go into the army for 2 years. In the country that I live in, everyone after high school has to go into the army. I've already been my first meeting which took 7 hours because they had to write down all the school’s I’ve been and do all these examinations and interviews. There was so much waiting that I’m amazed I didn’t die of boredom. In fact, I didn’t eat that entire time (which is crazy for me) and I was able to get into a conversation with 2 guys who were also having to do the interviews and examinations. I wouldn't say I was nervous because I'm the type of girl that doesn't get excited or nervous until the night before. That can be a good thing but I also think it’s kinda weird. I mean, I think about going into the army but it feels so far away, almost surreal, that I don't know what I'm supposed to feel. Nathan told me that he couldn’t stop thinking about it a whole year before he started. In a way I wish I could be normal like that, but I also like not having to think about it until the time comes.
I believe that the best way to handle this little bit of jealousy in me is to be determined to finish all my work and learn from the trials that my friends are going to go through. As I watch them finish high school, start college, and serve in the army, I’m able to learn from the choices that they make. This is a great vantage point because being a year behind is going to help me see how to handle the choices that might come my way as I get older and come closer to finishing high school.
Maybe, instead of being jealous of what you think your friends have better than you, we should learn from their mistakes and achievements so we can grow into the people God has called us to be. Everyone has a different journey that they take, but at the end of the day, we are all God’s children. :)