I wasn’t planning on going to this conference until Jeremy's mom asked me to join them, saying that she would pay for everything. At first, I kept saying no to all her invites because I really had no desire to travel all the way to Texas for a conference I wasn’t that interested in. But, after getting other people’s input, I felt pushed against the wall and figured my only option was to accept this request.
This was my first mistake. Have you ever made a decision you've deeply regretted? Well, let me tell you that one of the biggest lessons I learned from all of this was that no matter how pressured you feel, you should never give in to something you know in your heart and spirit isn’t right.
Once I had accepted Jeremy's mom's request, I packed up my bag and traveled to a friend of a friend's house so I could drop my car off and meet another friend, Camilla, who would drive me the other half of the journey back to her house. The drive to drop my car off was a breeze, the roads were easy to navigate and I enjoyed the time of solitude. However, as Camilla and I drove to her house, we were rear-ended by a girl who wasn’t paying attention.
I was lurched forward and then smashed my head back into the headrest upon impact. It’s so typical that I was the only one hurt in this accident, I mean that’s just my luck (not that I believe in luck).
As we waited around for the police to file the accident, my head started to hurt more and more and my neck seemed to lock up. I thought I was fine but then dread started to come over me as I thought about the damage I might have done to my already injured neck, so I asked the policeman to call an ambulance to come and take me to the hospital.
Tests were done which, of course, came back clear, but I didn’t feel like I was alright. I called my chiropractor and he told me to come to the office in the morning, but a part of me really wanted to fly to Texas.
In the end, I decided to spend the night at Camilla's house and make my final decision in the morning. I woke up at 2 am to get to the airport in time for our flights, feeling better but not great. I made it all the way to the airport before realizing that this was a bad idea. I proceeded to wait two hours at the airport for Camilla's husband to pick me up and drive me back to my car (which was two hours away) so that I could drive the hour to the chiropractor.
I’m honestly not sure how I stayed awake for so long. I made it all the way to the chiropractor, who was gracious enough to stay open for me. To my dismay, I didn’t get good news once my chiropractor had examined me. My injury was worse than it was before and had set me back as much as three months!!!
As I left the chiropractor, exhaustion finally washed over me and I realized that there was no way I could make it back to the Curtis's house in one piece (they lived another hour away from the chiropractor). On a whim, I called Mrs.Garcia to ask if I could stop by her house for a nap. That was over a month ago now, and I am still at the Garcias house.
Some days are better than others but there are days where I can barely get out of bed. I stay in my PJs all day unless I have to go to the chiropractor, and I can’t do much. My energy is at an all time low and if I over exert myself, I pay for it the next day. I also can't drive and rely on Uber to get me to my appointments on time.
That all being said, I have not lost hope. These trials are sent to test us and I’ve definitely been tested! I thank God everyday for the Garcia’s. They are a HUGE blessing to me! No matter how much pain I’m in, they never lose patience with me and help me with whatever I need.
This isn’t meant to be a “feel sorry for me” blog post. I've accepted the consequences of my decision, though the devil still tries to make me feel angry at myself for not listening to my heart. The reason behind this blog, instead of pity, is to be an encouragement to you all. No matter what decisions you've made, God is a very forgiving God and as long as you turn your life around and learn your lesson, He will love you no less.
I know that God has me at the Garcia’s, going through all this, for a purpose. I’m learning how to put my trust in Him and rest in knowing that He is the God of healing and peace.
Tonight, as I write this, I have worship music on and the song that seems to be speaking to me tonight is called Sanctuary by SEU Worship. Some of the lyrics I love from this song are, “What once was full of sorrow, Your love turned into gain. What once left me in pieces, Your strength restored in full. Your trust is in Your Word, Lord. You have the final say. My hope is in your promise, that there’s an empty grave!”
Everyone goes through trials of many kinds, but we all respond differently. After the accident, I beat myself up because I knew that I would no longer be able to go home as soon as I wanted to and that my treatment would not be easy going forward. I have to go to the chiropractor three times a week and each time I go it’s painful, but I don’t let it get me down.
Even though I’m in this situation, I’m in complete peace because I know that God has a reason for this and He will not let me down. He is my Sanctuary and He makes me feel like this isn't the end. I will not lose my faith over this! One day, hopefully soon, I will be well and able to live a semi-normal life. I can’t wait to be home with my parent’s and grandparents! I’m also excited to walk out of this season with the knowledge that God was directing me through it all!
2 Corinthians 1:3-7, “Praise be to the God and Father of Yeshua, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.”