The key word God gave me at the beginning of this year was, focus. Throughout the year, I was to think of that word and apply it to my life. My goal was to draw closer to the Father and focus on Him. I wanted this year to be about strengthening my relationship with God and discover who I am. Though it was hard at times, I do believe I was able to accomplish an awful lot in a year.
One of the lessons I learned during this week was how to lean on YHVH and be content with Him when I was feeling alone and rejected. Some days with Jacque were good, but other days became quite interesting when she went into a mood. As much as I love her, there were definitely times I wanted to slap her in the face and tell her to get a grip. I’m no one’s punching bag, so when she started treating me like one, I made the choice to give her space instead of lashing out at her.
Being the strong-willed girl that I am, it would have been really easy for me to have given Jacque a piece of her own medicine, but I really believe that YHVH humbled me and gave me the strength I needed to take a step back, instead of engaging. He also took me into His presence and showed me that I wasn’t alone or rejected because He was with me and looking after me.
I’ve never had the best luck (not that luck is real) with friends, so I did get upset when Jacque started pushing me away and not taking much notice of my presence. However, I cheered up when YHVH showed me that He was with me and wasn’t going to leave like everyone else usually does. I was also really thankful to have Jacque’s mom and step-dad around because we had some great conversations and their presence made it a bit more tolerable.
If you have read my other blogs, you may have noticed that I’m currently obsessed with Hamilton, a broadway musical. I seriously can’t get enough of it! As I keep listening to the soundtrack, I really wanted to learn the history of Alexander Hamilton's life.
I’m one of those people who gets into something and wants to learn everything I can on the topic so I can understand what is happening in the story. Because of this, I started reading a book based on the lives of Alexander Hamilton and his wife Elizabeth Schuyler. As I’m reading this book, I noticed an interesting pattern in the way Alexander Hamilton lived.
Hamilton’s main goal in life was to be known and make a name for himself. He wasn't going to stop until he believed he had achieved this goal, even if it meant putting his family's life and reputation on the line. However, no matter how many accomplishments Hamilton made, he was never satisfied.
As I read my book, I realized that when we put our identity in ourselves, in our achievements and in making a name for ourselves, we will never be satisfied. Alexander was never satisfied! Yet, when we put our identity in Yeshua, Jesus, we will find purpose and satisfaction!
Our identity should be in the one true God because He will not be shaken or cause us to stumble! Because He lives and cares for us, we don’t need to worry about how we’re going to be the ‘next big thing’ because to Him we are always enough, HALLELUJAH!
Some may look at my week and think it was uneventful; however, that's only because they have no idea what I was going through in the spiritual. I’d been having a bit of a dry spell when it came to reading the Word and praying in the last two weeks, but with everything that was going on with Jacque, God showed me just how present He is! Not only was I reading my book about Alexander Hamilton, I was also reading the book of Joshua.
As I read and finished Joshua, I started understanding just how amazing our God is! He is almighty! He is stronger than any other force and has the power to defeat armies with a single blow! The way He brought the Israelites out of Egypt and helped them establish the Land of Israel, showed me that He is definitely capable of helping me find the right friends and make me feel loved! Don't we serve an AWESOME Elohim?!
Though this isn’t the Biblical new year, it has been exactly a year since I asked YHVH what my word for the year should be. As I reminisce about the past year, I’m amazed at all the lessons I have learned and the growth that I have gone through. It’s been one heck of a ride that I can’t wait to see what 2017 is going to bring!
I’m believing that 2017 is going to be a year of new beginnings. I’m fed up of wanting to go back to what was, it's time to move on! I don’t want to keep being disappointed by the same people or keep myself in a place where I'm not making meaningful friendships.
2016 was a year of reconciliation for me. I’m happy that I was able to make amends with those I didn’t get closure with, though our time of friendship has now ended. I was also excited that I was finally able to really start the process of becoming the woman YHVH has called me to be! This is the first year I'd fully committed myself to God and asking Him to direct my steps, and I was definitely not disappointed!
As this new week begins, my prayer is that YHVH will show me where I should go from here. I’m also praying that His Will will be done in my life. I have made the decision to go home on Wednesday because my time in America feels complete.
I know I said a couple weeks ago that my time in America wasn’t finished, but after lots of prayer, it feels like it is. I’m excited to be going home and being reunited with my family, but I’m also sad that I have to say goodbye to everyone. It's bittersweet, but I'm going to leave on a happy note.
My time in America has been amazing! I’ve loved every minute of it and am happy with the person I became while living here. I’ve had some great opportunities and am very thankful that I was able to be around a great group of people, even if it was for a short period of time. It’s a trip I will never forget!
Isaiah 43:18-19, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”