In my last post I told you about my breakup with Will and how this other guy, Jeremy, had come into my life. Well, Jeremy is an amazing guy. He’s probably everything a girl could ask for. He is sweet, considerate, charming, and understanding. He doesn’t push you into doing something you don’t want to do and he tries his hardest just to make you happy.
We started flirting more than usual after I broke up with Will. It felt good to know that there was someone better out there and treating me better than he did. But I’ve never felt the butterflies with him like I have with the only other two relationships I’ve been in. And I tried to tell him that I needed space after finding out that Will had already moved on but that proved harder than I thought. He kept texting me nonstop and then kept getting scared because he thought he was going to “loose me”. I ended up saying that we should just text without the flirting but that’s also almost impossible for him.
Jeremy is a great guy but I still don’t think he’s right for me which makes things difficult because he’s gotten really attached. I have no idea what to do but I know that I don’t want to keep leading him on and then just turn him down when things get out of hand. It makes this whole thing harder when I have Will still texting me like nothing’s wrong.
I got a new rabbit the other day and she’s absolutely incredible. She’s fluffy and white, like a cotton ball. So I’ve been posting tons of pictures of her on my snapchat and that’s why Will keeps texting me. I was getting so frustrated that he was able to just talk to me normally while I sit at home wishing I knew how he was able to move on so quickly.
This question whirled through my mind for so long that I finally broke. One night I decided that I was going to text him and get the details I needed before I completely delete him out of my life. To my surprise we ended up texting for over an hour and I found out that the distance was the thing that killed our relationship and that if I actually lived there he would still want to be in a relationship with me. This was comforting and sad at the same time. I don’t think distance should be the breaking point. If you really do love someone then the distance doesn’t matter if they know that at the end of the day the couple will see each other again and be together.
The conversation ended with Will telling me that he thinks of me as a best friend and that he thinks I should find someone that makes me happy. I was left with lots to think about. It was in the hour that followed that I came to realize that maybe I could get over Will and move on with Jeremy but I still wasn’t sure so I just kept that idea at the back of my mind.
Jeremy decided that the best chance he had was to keep texting me and telling me how much I mean to him and how he doesn’t want to lose me. This left me thinking that he was going over the top and I tried to tell him but it just made him sad. Like, we’ve only known each other for over 4 months and when you like someone yeah you want to talk to them all the time but I think he was getting a bit obsessed. I tried to tell him that I wouldn’t be writing to him all the time, which didn’t go down too well, and it made him think that I just wanted to ignore him.
I started hanging out with my cousin, Gabriella, and just forgot about my phone. It felt good to let go of thinking that I constantly had to look at my phone and answer a person straight after getting a message. I think Jeremy finally go the message that I just want to be friends and has really become more human. :P There’s no more flirting and we can just talk without thinking we have to be all cute. I’ve also been able to start having conversations with other people.
A new friend of mine has been talking to me more and I’ve really enjoyed the talks we’ve had. His name is Blake and he’s really sweet. Jeremy was actually the one to introduced us. Jeremy secretly dislikes Blake as he thinks that Blake’s just a player. If I’m being honest I think Blake is a typical nice guy. Jeremy just has to get over the fact that I’m going to be talking to lots of other guys, since I don’t actually have a friend who’s a girl, and that’s that.
Over the past week or so I’ve had time to think about relationships and love. I’ve realized that I am content with being single and I like it. A seventeen year old doesn’t need guy to define her or make her feel special. Friends and family can do just that without being romantic. I mean yes, romance is nice but for now I’m content with just listening to Frank Sinatra and reading about love in books, such as The Notebook.