I’m not a person who can hear YHVH’s voice clearly, though I’m working on it. Instead, when I’m praying or thinking about what I should write for the week’s blog, words come flooding into my mind. If I don’t write them down at that moment, I usual forget them.
This Friday, during a time of prayer at a Bible meeting, the words for this week’s blog came to me. It was awkward to be on my phone while everyone was praying, but I knew that if I didn’t write it all down during that time, this week’s blog wasn’t going to be as good as it could be.
Some nights, I’ll be in my bedroom reading the Bible or playing some Christian music when His presence comes into the room. When I feel Him with me, I tend to stop what I’m doing and start singing the song that’s playing or start writing what I’m feeling. Writing is my outlet. Some people spend their time talking to the Father, but I use that time to write.
I’ve never been one to get into worship or kneel before the Father. I’ve seen others do it, but I’ve never felt like I should; until this trip to America. During my time of worshipping to YHVH, I will occasionally get on my knees and start speaking in tongues or praying.
The Scripture that came to mind while I was praying on Friday night, during the Bible meeting, was Matthew 6:6, “But you, when you pray, go into your room, and having shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place. And your Father who sees in secret shall reward you openly.” For the last week, I’ve been going into my room and spending time with the Father, just me and Him. I feel like that time we have together is very rewarding because it renews me for the next day.
Like I wrote last week, I started a new voluntary job this week! Three times a week I'm going to the Smith's warehouse, early in the morning, and work about nine-hour shifts; which I know isn’t a lot for some, but it is for me. I spend most of that time on my feet either sorting through a Gaylord (a very large box) or manifesting products. It’s hard work but I’m thoroughly enjoying it! The best part is that I can listen to music while I’m working, so it’s not boring.
In the last two weeks, I haven’t been able to stop listening to Hebrew songs. I'm missing Israel and the language, though I don’t think I’m ready to come home just yet. Honestly, I never thought I’d miss attempting to speak Hebrew; but as I listen to Hebrew songs, I’m realizing just how beautiful the language actual is. It’s as if Hebrew is a form of tongues.
I’m so thankful for this time in the States. I’ve learned more about myself in two months then I have in years. Over the years, many people have told me that I am a writer, but it wasn’t until recently that I started believing them. I’m constantly struggling with fears of not being good enough or never making a difference. I even get discouraged because I allow my mind to tell me that what I’ve written isn’t perfect or worthwhile.
During Shabbat, this week, my mom sent me a teaching called Talk Yourself into it. Steven Furtick was the pastor giving the message and I haven’t been that inspired by a teaching for a long time. I ate up everything he said and took a lot of notes! Everything he said was exactly what I needed to hear. Some of the things that Steven said in his teaching that really encouraged me in this area were:
1) God will never give you a purpose you’re not ready for. Everything is preparing you for God’s purpose.
2) God’s presence is guaranteed but His promises are optional. He will be with us wherever we will go, but how far we are willing to go is up to us!
3) Your real enemy is your fear and discouragement. When you get rid of all of that, you can fulfill your destiny.
4) Nobody can talk you into your destiny but you! Talk yourself into it!
5) A good coach doesn’t just encourage, he motivates!
6) Yeshua is in me! I am enough!
I feel like I’m coming into a new season where it's time to really start using my gift of writing and growing with it. After listening to Steven's message, I feel encouraged that I can now move forward and think with a more positive mindset. I have this gift for a reason but I won't be able to use it to its full extent if I keep holding myself back.
If you are facing the same struggles I am, start talking encouragements to yourself instead of pointing out all the negatives. Whether you are a writer, a dancer, an artist, or a web designer, find the good in your arts and not just the bad. I believe that when we start lifting ourselves up, we’ll finally get to the place where we can show people what we have created and use it for His glory!
This last week has been a really great! In my opinion, it ended too soon! I feel like I got a lot accomplished and am already excited for this next week to begin. Can you believe it's already December?!
My prayer for this next week is that YHVH will continue to give me the strength I need to go to work and continue to tell me the words I need to write. I’m looking forward to seeing what YHVH is going to do through me in my writings. Today, I submitted a new article for Crown of Beauty Magazine, so I’m praying that, if it is published, girls will be encouraged by what I wrote!
John 14:27, “Peace I leave with you – My peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”