This week has started terribly! Last week, I slept in til passed eleven o’clock and my parents got really mad, so this week I’m waking up early to make them happy, it hasn’t. Everyday my mom is in a terrible mood and treats me like trash. I’m talked down to all the time and if I dare talk with the same tone as her, I get into trouble and blamed for making her act the way she’s acting. I am not a punching bag! I want to be treated like a human and feel loved and welcome in my own home, and right now I’m getting none of that.
I want to move out so bad you have no idea! I don’t want to be here another second. I cherish the little time I have to be locked in my room or in my office to get away from them. I don’t want to be around them because I just get yelled at or told that I can’t do something.
My mom wants me to get a job and start making a living, the problems are that I have a job, it’s just not constant, and I don’t have a car to get around so even if I did have a job I would need a ride. She also wants me to start helping more, like I don’t help enough! I don’t even think they see what I do because I never get thank you’s anymore and I’m just ignored. Please God get me out of here!
This is not the environment I want to live in. A home is supposed to be a place you can’t wait to be because it’s filled with people you love and where you feel like you belong, but right now my home is no where. This isn’t home anymore. This is just lodging until I turn 18 and make the push to get out of here. I know that God has been testing me to honor my parents, and I’ve tried really hard but there’s only so much you can do. I’ve told my mom that whenever she needs my help all she has to do is ask, but she always responds with, “You should know when to help!” or, “I shouldn’t have to ask anymore.”
There comes a time in your life where a new chapter begins, and my new chapter has definitely began. It’s time to move on. I know my parents would never allow me to move out unless it’s going to Uni, though they might not even let me go there now. It’s like they’re trying to make me stay with them longer, though we can barely talk anymore and if we do it almost always turns into an argument.
I’m trying my hardest to get through these next couple of months, but I don’t know if I can. My dad is leaving for England on Friday for ten days, and I’m nervous about it. I have no idea how it’s going to be with my mom, but I will tell you one thing, if she keeps up the way she’s acting this week, I will go somewhere else for the ten days my dad is gone because there is no way I’m staying alone with her. I know that if I did leave, I would get nasty calls and be grounded for ages, but I’d choose that over living in a house where I don’t feel welcome. I’m just praying that God will give me the strength I need to keep going.