Turning eighteen was a massive change, as I am now officially an adult! To celebrate, I went skydiving! Yes, you read that correctly, I went skydiving! The morning of, I was freaking out, but by the time I arrived at the skydiving place, the nerves had vanished, thanks to God answering my prayers.
During the drive to go skydiving, I was praying that God would give me the strength I needed to take this actual leap of faith. Going skydiving wasn’t about me doing something awesome for my eighteenth birthday, it was to take an actual leap for God and show Him how serious I am about seeking Him in all that I do.
The night before my leap, I read in Psalms. I was really encouraged with the phrase that David kept repeating, “The Lord is my strength and my shield.” As I was in the plane, and when I was about to jump out, I proclaimed that God was my strength and my shield, this made me feel empowered and unafraid. It was one of the most incredible experiences of my life and I can’t thank anyone but God for giving me the courage to jump!
My birthday was also a blessing. Last year, I only celebrated with my parents, since I didn’t have enough friends, who lived near me, to have a party. This year, however, we had three families (with at least four kids in each) to join us, so it was quite a party! I was so touched to have a house full of people on my birthday, because I had struggled all year with not having all of my friends around me. It was so great to know that people were willing to come and celebrate my birthday with me and my family.
The day after my birthday, my dad and I had to wake up early to catch our flights to America. I was still hyped up from turning eighteen, so I thoroughly enjoyed the journey. My father, however, did not. His back hurt him the whole way, bless him, but that wasn’t going to stop us. We arrived in America, went to a hotel for the night, and then the next morning made our way to Johnson City, Tennessee, better known in my opinion, as the best city in America.
I love Johnson City! The air is fresh, the views are incredible, the town is awesome, and the people are so loving and welcoming. Whenever I go there, I never want to leave, it’s my home away from home!
While in Johnson City, my dad led an evangelism training course. He, and Matthew, the preacher of The Vineyard (the fellowship we go to when in Johnson City), gave pointers to help us before we went onto the streets to talk with people about God, there were no scripts.
Before we went out, we had a prayer and worship time. During this time, you could feel the presence of God as we praised Him and prayed for what we were about to go out and do. While we were worshipping, I was filled with the Holy Spirit, which was so cool! I was singing when Matthew came over and asked if I was ready to be filled with the Spirit, I said yes, and the rest is history :p
The first night we went evangelising, I was partnered with Jeremy’s brother-in-law, Tyler. This would have been awkward if we hadn’t spoken the night before about everything. Turns out, Jeremy hadn’t told his parents what really went on when we were in our “relationship,” so Jeremy’s sister and Tyler were just as oblivious. I explained things to them, and thankfully, they understood and didn’t think any different of me.
So, Tyler and I evangelised together. Almost as soon as we got out of the car, we started talking to someone. It’s amazing how God puts the people who need to talk right in front of you! Our first conversation was with a guy named Charles. He initiated the conversation and opened up to us. It was really touching to hear his story and see how God was using us to call out to Charles. Before parting ways with Charles, we were able to pray for him, and I could see that he was blessed.
Later in the evening, Tyler and I were walking to find the rest of our group. When we found them, they were all talking to Charles! He had started the conversation with them, like he had with us, and was in shock that we were all willing to talk to him. I think he even had tears in his eyes when the women of our group prayed for him before we left.
When we were all evangelising, there was such a unity and everyone could feel the presence of God around us. All of the talking and God’s presence, gave me such a rush, that I got really hyper! It was weird and funny how relaxed and crazy I got, especially because Jackson was there. If you have been reading my blog since June, you may remember that I met Jackson the last time I was in Johnson City, and we had really hit it off. If not, let me catch you up.
Back in June, Jackson and I met at The Vineyard. We spoke a couple of times after that and I knew there was something about him, because it felt like I was being drawn to him, but I didn’t know what it was. Of course, soon after meeting Jackson, I started having more of a relationship with Jeremy, so Jackson and I didn’t talk much after that.
I was mad that Jackson hadn’t texted me while I was back home, or when he did, he didn’t replied. I figured he was just another person who said, “Let’s stay in touch,” but never does. Turns out, he had gotten a word from God that had sort of freaked him out, while I was in no position to talk to him since I was talking to Jeremy.
I didn’t go back to Johnson City thinking that now Jeremy and I are over, Jackson and I could give it a go, I hadn’t even given that a thought. I’m not one of those people who has a relationship with someone, breaks up with them, and then find another guy soon after. I believe that everything happens in God’s timing, and back then it wasn’t the time for me and Jackson to get to know each other, but it is now.
While in Johnson City, we spent a lot of time together, practically everyday. We hung out at The Vineyard, at my friend Bethany and Ryker’s house, at Books A Million for coffee (which lasted two hours!), at the park (which we had to leave because we were alone and my dad wanted us only hang out with a group), at the mall (we got pretzels), at Scratch (best pizza place!) for Bethany’s birthday, and at the bonfire. On all occasions, we got more comfortable with one another and I was really enjoying getting to know him.
When we were at the Vineyard, we didn’t talk much, but we shared intense stares. I was usually the one who looked away, because I would get self conscious and think that Jeremy’s sister or Tyler could be watching. I think everyone felt that there was something between Jackson and I, because my friend Bethany, and her husband Ryker, would give me looks after the stares, as if to say, “What’s going on here?”
One night, while I was staying at Bethany and Ryker’s house, Jackson came over for dinner. We had such a laugh, as we are all a pretty funny bunch and get along really well with one another. Around eleven though, Bethany and Ryker decided it was time for them to go to bed, because they had work the next morning. Jackson and I, however, stayed up and talked until 1am!! We played the question game and told lots of stories. At one point he even held my hand, but only for a few of seconds.
Leaving Johnson City was really difficult. I had had such an amazing nine days there, that it only felt like two! On the last night, Ryker's dad made a huge bonfire and we had the worship team come over for a night full of music and s’mores. It was such a blast! I even drummed a little bit.
I had never had the desire to play the drums, until after I was filled with the Holy Spirit. It's really strange, every time I hear music now, I drum on anything that I can find. When I do this, I can sense that God is with me, and it is an incredible feeling! I feel like drumming may be the instrument God is calling me to play to praise Him, I just hope I don’t sound too bad when I drum around others.
When the bonfire night was over and I had to say goodbye to everyone, I almost cried! Bethany and I had become like sisters in the week I'd spent with her, so saying goodbye was really difficult. My other buddies, Roxy and Rosa, were also sad to see me go, though I think that Roxy was a bit relieved because, in her mind, I would no longer be around to take all of Jackson's attention.
When it came to saying goodbye to Jackson, I wanted to make sure I hugged him, but it would have been awkward to do it with everyone around, so after I had said goodbye to everyone, I signalled for him to meet me on the porch. He was there when I walked out, and I sort of just rushed into his arms and didn't want to let go.
I can't remember the hug extremely well, but I do remember there being a feeling of God's presence as we hugged. It gave me hope about our future and made me feel at peace. I wish that it could've lasted longer, but then my dad came around the corner calling my name.
Before my dad and I left that night, Jackson went up to my dad and told him that he was praying about me. It was a nerve wracking couple of minutes for me, because I didn’t know how my dad would respond, but he was really cool about it and said ok, then gave Jackson a hug.
Jackson and I aren’t in a relationship. We’re just friends who are getting to know each other, but we are also praying about each other, because we have both had words from God about being together. I know that it is not the right time for me to be in a relationship, as I am still maturing in my walk with God and figuring out His plans for my life. Even if it was the right time, Jackson and I would not be dating. I have been studying about dating and what God’s thoughts are on it and have decided that I will never date. I want to court only one person, my future husband, and I have made the decision that my first real kiss will be at the altar!
Over the years, I used to think my parents were crazy for not allowing me to date. They used to tell me, "God will show you who you are to marry," and I used to think, “Yeah right!” As a result, I started having "secret relationships,” with Will and Jeremy, because I figured that was the only way I could find my future husband since my parents wouldn’t let me date, but I don't think that anymore.
There is something so exciting about waiting for the man God has promised me. I don't want to have a history with different guys and then have my future husband be the last one, I want him to be the only one! Though I know he can't be my first anymore, at least I won't have a long history of guys behind me. God will show me the right guy, when the time is right. Like I said, Jackson and I are still seeking God and asking Him about what He has said to us, and are not going any further until we hear directly from God.
It's really encouraging to know that there are other people thinking the same way I am. I'm not the only one who thinks courting is the better way, or that staying pure is more than withstanding from sex before marriage. It is also really cool that Jackson agrees with my stance on relationships, he also doesn't believe in dating. We have both made the goals to stay pure before the Father, allowing Him direct our paths and showing us who we are to marry!
Before heading home, my dad and I drove to Colombia, South Carolina. I was not too keen on going to Colombia as I am not a very big fan of the fellowship we go to there (it’s too religious at times). After going, however, I know that it was God’s will for my dad and I to have attended their Shabbat (Saturday) service.
I had a divine appointment at the fellowship with a girl named Alexa. We hit it off right away, and I soon learned that she was going through something almost identical to what I had just gone through with Jeremy.
Her parents didn't approve of her being with a certain boy, and many people had told her that it was out of God's will, but she wasn’t listening to them because her heart had been telling her to hold on to the boy. Then I came along and shared my story with her.
Alexa couldn't believe how similar the situations were and was really encouraged by what I had said. I'm praying that she chooses to listen to God instead of her heart. We are still keeping in touch, so I am continuing to sow into her life and give her advice when she asks.
Since I’ve been home, I've continued with my school work, started learning Hebrew, writing a lot more, preparing for my nana and papa (who are moving out here on Sunday), and of course, talking to Jackson.
Jackson and I have continued on our path of getting to know each other, but have set boundaries. We have agreed to talk every two days, though it's been an adjustment as we were talking everyday. I think it's really mature that we've set boundaries, because we both want to get to know each other slowly and we don't want to rush anything. Another interesting thing is that he wants to come over here and go into the army. If he gets in, that means that there is a possibility we could go in together, as I have been drafted to go in next October!
I am really enjoying this next chapter in my life! At the beginning, I didn't know what to expect or how God was going to use me, but so far I'm loving it! For me, I've been really encouraged to see how God is working in my life and also in the people around me.
It was so amazing to see what God is doing in other people’s lives, and how He has been using me to speak to them. On the weekend of the evangelism course, I had God filled conversations and loved seeing the growth of the group. It was so special to hear the group’s testimonies and find out what God had done in their lives, and in the lives of the people they talked to, after a weekend of evangelising.
One of the best things that has happened since I’ve turned eighteen has been my growth with God. I never imagined it to feel like this. The desire I have to form an even better relationship with Him is so strong, that I can’t believe I’ve gone this long without truly seeking Him! It is so wonderful to know that I have a purpose in life that is far beyond my understanding. I don’t know exactly what it is yet, but I can’t wait to find out! I'm so excited to unravel the next thing God has for me in my life!
Encouraging Scriptures:
1 Timothy 4:12 “Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in SPEECH, in CONDUCT, in LOVE, in FAITH and in PURITY.” (My new life motto)
Psalm 119:9 “How can a young person stay on the path of purity? By living according to your word.”
1 Timothy 5:1-2 “…Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.”
Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.”
Romans 12:2 “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”