I couldn’t stop talking! Once the “click” occurred, there was no point trying to shut me up. I love to talk, so when I have no words, something has to be wrong.
To be honest, I’m not entirely sure what caused me to start talking again. I just got this burst of energy and all of a sudden words started flowing out my mouth. Poor Jem had to put up with my hundreds of voice messages while he was at work, haha.
Anyway, the night I got my words back, I was also hit with inspiration. Remember when I said that I had actually started writing a new story? Well, the storyline started to form in my mind and I couldn’t stop writing down ideas! Of course, this burst of inspiration didn’t hit me until almost one in the morning, typical, so I was writing with my eyes half open.
Nevertheless, I pushed through my exhaustion and wrote everything that came to mind. It’s so exciting to finally have a plot and theme forming! I’m so excited to write out the chapters and hopefully, create a decent sized book! I’m just praying that YHVH will put the words in my mind so I can write them out and then, maybe one day, get this book published! What a crazy thought that is!
Along with getting my words back and writing out ideas for my book, Invisibility, I was also taught a very good lesson. This lesson was about how important it is to get out of your fleshly tent and not living in self-pity and depression.
I hate feeling sorry for myself, but I’ve found that over the last couple of weeks, I’ve allowed myself to go down that road. I lay in bed most days and just wallow, which isn’t me. I love getting out and seeing the world, but at the moment all I could see was the four walls of my bedroom and the misery I had made myself believe I had.
For the last month, I’ve been dreaming about traveling to the States in order to get more chiropractic treatment and make new friends. I wanted to get out the house so badly and figured that far away, in an English-speaking country, would be the perfect place to go. I felt like I was being suffocated in Israel and yearned to be surrounded by like-minded people.
Since I’ve started my treatment, life has been really difficult. I haven’t been able to do a lot or go back to my old job. It made me sad because my purpose in life seemed to go out the window, blowing away too fast for me to catch. Now, I realize that I need to get my purpose back because I don’t want to live like this forever.
My mom said something to me the other night which stuck with me. She said that even if I went away, I’d still be taking myself with me. Just because the environment would be different, doesn’t mean I’ll completely change. I need to grasp the fact that its time to start picking up my life and fighting a little harder, before flying off to another country and living with people who don’t need my depressed self.
Thankfully, I have amazing parents who helped me realize this, I just need to put it into effect. Life has been difficult for the last couple of months, but that doesn’t mean the end of this year has to be the same. I want the rest of this year to show my growth, maturity, health, and happiness. I want to learn what my purpose on this planet is because I know that YHVH didn’t create me to become a hotel maid.
I have a purpose in life, I just need to seek Him and hear what He wants from me! It’s time to put on the armor and fight! I don’t want to feel small anymore! I want to get out in the world and show everyone that the devil has no power over me! I also want to grow even closer to YHVH.
My prayer for the next two weeks is that I’ll grow stronger and be happier before flying off to the States for three months! I’m so excited about my upcoming trip and I know that YHVH has many things in store for me, I just need to embrace them and not wait for them to come to me. It’s time to take action, to get out of my shell and to press forward!
I’m pumped! Can you tell? Haha. I feel like there is something stirring inside my spirit and I just want to shout out, though I can’t because I’m currently fighting a migraine that wants to consume me and pull me under. But, I’m going to do my best to not let that happen!
YHVH is a mighty Yah and I know that with Him all things are possible. 1 John 4:4, “He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.” I believe that everyone needs to envision their futures and lives, because without hope or vision, what is the point of getting up every morning? 2 Corinthians 4:18, “We are not looking on what is seen, but on what is not seen. For what is seen passes away, but what is not seen is everlasting.”
Do you have a vision for your life? If not, I challenge you to pray about it and analyze your life. Are there things that you need to change in the way that you live your life? If so, don't be afraid to make these changes. When you're walking on YHVH's path, there's no stopping you from succeeding!