I remember being best friends with this girl, Taylor, and thinking that I had the greatest friend in the world. We would see each other almost every weekend and have so many sleepovers that I lost count. She was a great friend, for the most part, and at that time I couldn’t think of not having her in my life. As I look back on our friendship I see that most of the time I did whatever she wanted to do and when I wanted to do something we would only do it for a short period of time.
Taylor’s favorite animal was a wolf. We would spend hours pretending that we were wolves, making howling noises and creating background stories as we went along. Now, you MUST remember that we first became friends when I was eight years old so this is normal behavior for our age! We would never do those things is we were still friends today for that would be totally immature. :P We were both very strong willed but I guess she was stronger because somehow she became the leader.
My friendship with Taylor had lots of positive aspects and I truly did love to hang out with her. We would go camping in my back yard, make huge forts, have parties, laugh lots, and even create magical worlds that only we could see. Most of the memories of my childhood friends have Taylor in them and I am thankful for her friendship but sad the way it ended.
It happened when I went back to the USA about two years ago. I couldn’t wait to catch up, in person, with Taylor because I hadn’t seen her in probably four years and thought that everything would be the same as it used to. Saying this, in those four years apart, we barely spoke and the only way I could see what she had been up to was by watching her Facebook or looking at her Instagram. I neve thought that maybe she wasn't the same girl I had known for over four years ago.
We started texting each other two days before I made it to her house. When I arrived, we greeted each other with a huge hug and a couple squeals. I thought that this was going to be the best couple of days I’d have since I arrived in the US. Boy was I wrong. I ended up spending more time with her brother, who I loathed when we were younger, as Taylor was always texting her friends and not showing any interest in me.
We had one great afternoon at the rollerskating rink and that became the highlight of my last visit to her. Our time there reminded me of old times. We were able to talk just like we used to and tell jokes that we both knew the other would laugh at. Unfortunately, as soon as that hour or two was over things returned to how they were before that just like the old times afternoon.
After saying goodbye and leaving her house, I was sad that she had wasted so much time being on her phone and wished that it would have been different. I can see now that she has changed so much since the last time I saw her, which was back when we were eleven. To this day I pray that she has a great life, but I know that our friendship is over and I will just have to accept that.
Of course accepting the end of our friendship was harder than I make it out to be. After visiting her, I still tried to keep in touch. I would send her messages to start conversations but she would never reply. It hurt me when she didn’t reply and has taken months to finally let go and … move on.
Moving on takes time, as does healing. I believe that in order to move on, you must first heal the wound that had been formed. It took years to stop thinking about my first boyfriend Kyle. Yet it only took me a couple of months to stop thinking about Will every time our song would come on. Even seeing a picture of him with his new girlfriend would upset me, but not anymore.
I believe that after you complete your healing process, you are finally able to move on from that person and can be set free from your old wounds by starting to live life to its fullest. I encourage everyone that is trying to get over a friend or a love that you realize what you need to do in order to start healing. Life is so much more fun when you are not holding on to what could have been. So stop dwelling on the past and move on with your wonderful lives. :)