I always wonder why I can’t sleep. Most people tell me that I shouldn’t have chocolate before bed, this is sometimes true, but I usually find that I can’t sleep at night because I’m too busy thinking about everything that has happened that day, or in the week. My mind starts going to all these different places that it’s hard for me to even keep up with it.
Others have told me that if I can’t sleep at night because of over-thinking, I should write down everything that I’m thinking to get it off my chest. I find that it is therapeutic to start by writing anything that I’m thinking at that exact moment and go with whatever happens to appear on my screen. When my fingers hit the keys I usually have no idea where they shall take me until I reread everything I just wrote. This however, does not usually help me sleep. Instead, it makes me think even more about what’s really going on in my mind and what I should do to stop the thoughts from repeating themselves.
It seems that night is when I want to write the most. I’ve written more in these past two weeks than I have in two months. I can’t tell you how much I’ve missed feeling the keys on my fingers and just letting them take me wherever they want to go. Most of the time I write without having second thoughts, the words just flow out of my mind and onto the screen that is in front of me.
This can be a gift or a curse. When I am at my most tired physically, it seems to be the time my brain decides to get creative! I feel bad when I decline picking up my laptop to write because then I end up spending hours tossing and turning or browsing stupid things on my phone until I can finally fall asleep. It feels like a punishment!
I think that it’s not a good idea for me to have a conversation when I’m wanting to go to sleep. Every time I have a conversation before bed, no matter how tired I am, I seem to not be able to settle down for ages after it’s finished because I start thinking about everything that was just revealed or talked about.
Sometimes I wish that my brain could store all the subjects I want to write about so I can write it all down in the morning, instead of staying wake for hours writing it all down.
Sleep is an amazing thing, especially when you go into the deepest of sleeps and dream the most amazing things. I love dreaming! Throughout my life I’ve had the most dramatic dreams. It’s funny to think back on some of the dreams I’ve had. Have you ever dreamt the same thing a couple of times and it feels like you’re having déjà vu? It is weird to relive a dream you’ve had before because when you wake up in the morning you wonder what just happened.
How cool would it be to remember all the dreams you dreamt and be able to write them down? Imagine all the amazing books that people could write with the adventures that you’ve been on in your sleep.
Each night brings a new situation. I never know if I’m going to be able to fall straight to sleep or have to toss and turn before I’m finally forced into unconsciousness. The worst thing is to have an alarm on. Do you ever feel yourself constantly looking at your phone or clock to see how much longer you can sleep for before your alarm goes off? I think this is one of the reasons I stay awake at night. I feel pressured into sleeping so I can wake up at the right time and get on with the next day. Maybe I shouldn’t have an alarm, but that would cause a big problem if I over slept and miss my ride to school in the morning.
There’s nothing worse than having my parents wake me up when I’m late. It’s like the world is coming to an end because they barge into my room and open all my shutters while telling me that I’m late and need to hurry up. This usually makes me freak out so I jump out of bed, causing major dizziness, and then rush around like a lunatic to get ready for the day and this results in me forgetting most of the things I need to take with me.
Hopefully sleep will come to me tonight so I can wake up refreshed and ready for what the next day has in store for me. To all the people out there who suffer with sleepless nights, try to see what your brain wants from you so it will let you sleep in peace. I think now I’ve let some of these thoughts off my chest, I can finally fall asleep in peace. Goodnight.