When I walk my dogs and the view is incredible (pictures are below)! How have I not noticed this beauty in all the years I’ve been living in the Galilee region? Every day I get excited to walk the dogs because the scenery is different each day.
This all being said, I hit a couple bumps in the road, this week. After writing last week that I want to work hard, I may have gone a bit overboard and completely exhausted myself. I pushed myself and wanted to make my dad proud, but at the same time, I forgot that sleep and rest were also required. hehe
By the end of the week, I was a sobbing mess. My brain was running laps and I was feeling rather overwhelmed. I allowed myself to pick out the negative and felt like a failure. It was like everything I’d done wasn’t enough and that didn’t sit well with me.
Thursday evening, I was so exhausted that I collapsed on my bed and laid in the dark listening to Twenty One Pilot’s song Car Radio on repeat for about an hour. Thoughts were swirling around my head causing me to have a headache, while my body had completely shut down. I couldn’t move.
As I woke up the next morning I received insight on what had happened the night before. I definitely wasn’t myself and told myself that I should never push myself to that point again. I regret saying that it was my dad’s fault because the truth is, I pushed myself.
Another subject that’s been going through my mind this week has been about how much we run off our emotions. I’m just as guilty of doing this, as you can tell with my breakdown on Thursday night, as anyone else. Even as Christians, we sometimes respond based on how we’re feeling and don’t take the other person’s feelings into consideration.
As I laid on my bed listening to Car Radio, I realized how criticizing I can be. I was taken back to the time Jeremy showed me this song, he told me how much he loved it and I responded quite negatively. Looking back, I could’ve responded a lot better. At the time, that song may not have been my cup of tea but on Thursday night, in my state of exhaustion, that was a very impacting song that said all the words I couldn’t say. I now understand why people love Twenty One Pilots, they're amazing.
I also talking to Anthony about this subject and we share some very similar views on it. We’ve both seen, first hand, how Christians can use the Bible as a way of defending their criticisms or judgments. We can get so caught up in what we’re feeling that we don’t see what the other person is going through.
Because of this discovery, I’m praying that God will give me the strength to notice when I’m acting on my emotions instead of His Spirit. It’s time we started hearing what others are saying instead of making our own assumptions. Ask the Spirit to guide you in this and to tell you the right words to say to friends who may be struggling.
The weekend was a lot better. I took the time to rest and get my energy back. It’s amazing just how much energy we can use in a week and what it takes to get that energy back.
Last night, I babysat my neighbor’s four kids. I always have a great time with them, but the baby usually stays awake until right before his parents come home. However this time, he fell asleep as we watched the movie Trolls and didn’t wake up when his sister carried him to his bed!!
I felt cannot be described the happiness I felt when I watched him sleeping in his bed! It was definitely an answer to prayer. :P It felt so nice to just chill for a couple hours until their parents came home. The sound of silence was incredible. I now understand how parents feel when their baby goes to sleep.
This coming week is going to be another packed week. My dad and I will be filming, I’ll be editing, and there are other things going on in between. It’s going to be a lot but I’m just going to try to pace myself.
I’m praying that I’ll get a lot done and feel good when the week is over. I really don’t want to get that exhausted again, as it’s taken me days to get over it. I’m also praying that God will how me what I should do with my friend’s idea of making our own young women’s magazine. We're still theorizing, but the idea has sparked lots of passion inside of me. My friend also told me this idea the same day I prayed for God to show me how I can get my writings more acknowledged! Please keep me in prayer as I seek the Father on these things!
Isaiah 40:31, “Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary.”