I know I’m not ready to get married, but this is definitely one of those times where I wish I could look into the future and see who my future husband is going to be. Of course, that being said, I would lose the element of surprise and things could work out differently than they’re supposed to; so, I guess I’ll just have to wait, for now.
I have read many different articles about how Christians should treat dating, courting, and marriage. At the beginning, I was all for dating and couldn’t wait to start but then I realized that dating wasn’t the way to go, so I switched to courting. Now, however, I’m really not sure what I think is best.
Everyone is different. Some people find it acceptable to hold hands with guys or kiss them before marriage, at the same time as staying pure to their future spouse (like a Proverbs 31 women), while others want to wait until marriage for all of that. At the moment, I have no real opinion to this, because I’m torn between these two ways of thinking. I know the deep connection that occurs once those lines are crossed and I don’t want to form that connection with someone who is not going to be my husband. My goal at the moment is to stay as pure as I can.
My parents used to tell me that I didn’t need to date, or court, because YHVH was going to tell me exactly who my future husband is. Back then, I was too worldly to consider what they were saying, but I totally believe them now. YHVH is mighty and can definitely tell me who my husband is going to be, I just need to have my ears open to hear it.
Just because I’m trusting YHVH to reveal my husband to me, doesn’t mean temptations won’t come my way. I still admire other guys and sometimes think about what life could be like with a person I may be crushing on, but then I remind myself that YHVH is in control and will show me who he is, at the right time. I know that right now isn’t the correct time for me to meet this guy, I still have so much to learn, but that doesn’t make this any easier.
As I went through these struggles this week, I’ve found comfort in taking the time to pray and think about my future husband, each day. One of the best blogs that helps me on this journey is, Waiting for Your Boaz. I highly recommend that all you girls reading this check it out. There are some amazing posts about being a Proverbs 31 woman and how to handle hardships. They also a free ebook called 31 Days of Prayer for Your Future Husband.
I never knew what I’m supposed to be praying for when I pray for my husband, so 31 Days of Prayer for Your Future Husband is definitely helping me. Each day, the prayer is about a specific topic, whether that may be finance or spiritual growth. I love turning to the next page each afternoon, to read what the next prayer is going to be. It’s weird, but as I take the time to write about what was going through my head as I prayed for him, I feel peace and a connection to my future husband.
I read an article this last week about a woman who doesn’t believe the idea of “The One” is Biblical. I found this article on Project Inspired’s Facebook. After reading the title of the article, 4 Reasons Why I Don’t Believe the Idea of “The One” Is Biblical, I was very curious to read what their argument was.
Once I read it, however, I was shocked to see that it as all about freedom of choice, which to me seemed sort of selfish. Yes, some people make a list of the attributes they want in their future spouse and it’s completely unrealistic, but that’s not how I look at ‘The One.’ To me, ‘The One’ is the person I have been made for. It says in 1 Corinthians 11:9, “For man also was not created for the woman, but woman for the man,” so when I read the four reasons given, I didn’t feel settled about what was written.
Rebecca Claire, the writer of this article, explained how believing in “The One” makes love about destiny rather than choice, sets you up for disappointment, takes away your freedom to choose, and takes away the surprise. Yes, we do have the right to choose, but when you’re one with YHVH, His choice will also be yours! As for losing the element of surprise, having your match revealed to you is definitely surprising in my books!
In a way, I hope that my husband is going to be someone who was right under my nose the whole time. That way, when YHVH reveals that we are to be each other’s helpmeet that all the pieces will come together to form a beautiful picture. Hey, a girl can dream! Until Revealing Day comes, I think I have a pass to daydream. ;)
I feel bad for those girls who think that they will learn who they are once they find the perfect boy because it’s not true. We are all unique and have a story to tell. Yes, your future spouse is going to be a part of that story, but that doesn’t mean you were incomplete until they came along. No, you are complete in Him and getting married is only going to build a stronger union to YHVH.
My prayer for this next week is that YHVH will continue to strengthen me and help me to remain pure. I don’t want to disappoint Him or bring shame to my future husband. When it comes time for me to walk down the aisle, I want to be confident that I am giving my husband my entire heart, not what’s left of it.
As I continued reading through Genesis this week, I was amazed at what I read the day I wrote this blog. I didn't know what YHVH wanted me to write this week, but after reading about Jacob and Rachel's love story, the words started to flow. It says in Genesis 29:20, “So Ya‛aqoḇ (Jacob) served seven years for Raḥĕl (Rachel), and they seemed to him but a few days because of the love he had for her.”
Let that verse just sink in for a second. Jacob was so in love with Rachel that seven years only felt like a few days!! WOW! Now that is love! My prayer is that during my season of singleness, I will be so in love with YHVH that I won’t keep track of how many months or years have gone by before He revealed ‘The One’ to me.
*raises a glass* “Here’s to singleness and waiting for the Right Man!”
Matthew 21:22, “And whatever you ask in prayer, believing, you shall receive.”