Last December, I traveled to Scotland to have family time with my dad’s side, but that didn’t go down very well because we had a conflict in beliefs. If you don’t already know this, find out more about my trip in “A Stranger to My Own Family” blog.
I am on a UK tour with my father and two other guys, Zack and Rowan, right now, and it has been a blast. We’ve been to many different places meeting new people and making new friends. In Birmingham, I now have friends that make me smile until it hurts. It was such fun in Birmingham that I didn’t want to leave.
It was also a blessing to go see my nana and papa for a day. My papa and I spent the day doing archery, talking, and going to the movies to see Furious 7. It one of the highlights of my trip and I can’t wait to see them again in July!
I figured that since I’d been having such a great time seeing my family with my dad that it would be that same way when we went to Scotland to see his side of the family; I was wrong.
The first night went by smoothly. We said hello to my grandma and talked for a couple minutes before everyone went to bed because it was late. Things changed the next day.
Everyone had to get up early for a speaking engagement, which was fine. We were all getting on fine and my gran wasn’t that agitating. It wasn’t until the end of the day where things started to change.
It seemed like all of my talking was a waste of time because every time I would talk I would either be ignored or get into trouble by my gran. On the way home everyone was chatting and Zack and I were bickering, as usual. It was silly and we kept bouncing back comebacks that were quite funny, until my gran decided that I was being rude.
Zack and I have become like brother and sister on this trip. We only met two weeks ago, but it feels like we’ve known each other for a lifetime. We are constantly at each other’s throats and making fun of each other, but it’s all for fun and we never take things to heart. Apparently, my grandma does.
When my grandma complains about something I do, I’ve found that my dad will react too and I’ll get in double trouble. Not only do I have a grandmother telling me to stop, but then I have my father who seems to feel like he also has to chime in!
One of the things I can’t stand about people is when they change how they act when they’re with a certain person, and that’s what happened with my dad. Throughout the trip so far, he has listened to the amazing comebacks that Zack and I have for each other and hasn’t said a word, but as soon as my grandma says something it’s like he has to also pick on me.
As soon as we arrived back to my grandma’s house, I ran to my room to cool down. The car ride had been frustrating enough for me, but that was nothing compared to what was to come next. Dinner wasn’t very extravagant. We hadn’t arrived home until nine o’clock, so my gran and I made toasties for everyone. While we were still eating, my dad kept reminding me that I had to clean the kitchen in order to give my gran a break. I was totally fine with that, my problem was his constant reminders. I ended up snapping at him to stop bugging me because he was only igniting my fire. Snapping wasn’t a good idea and my gran made sure I knew it by quoting the commandment about honoring your mother and father.
After I had cleaned the kitchen, which I did as quick as possible, I ran to my room to let off steam. If it wasn’t dark I probably would’ve gone for a long run or walk to get as far away from the house as I could get, but that wasn’t possible. Instead, I had to settle to listening to the song that always helps me calm down, called “Best Thing that Never Happened” by We are the In Crowd.
My friend Adam provided a great distraction when he texted me. I haven’t spoken to Adam in months, but he contacted me a couple days ago after realizing that the reason he wasn’t talking to me was a stupid one. So, we’ve been talking on and off and one this particular night, I’m super happy that he is back in my life. He diverted my thoughts from my dad and grandma and we had a pretty good chat.
After my conversation with Adam, I went to go hang out with Zack. He had just gotten off the phone to his wife, so I went into his room to chill. We were talking, with the door open I might add, and having a good time until my grandma came up and saw us. She started trying to get me to go to bed by saying, “Tessa, are you going to bed now?” and “Lights go off at eleven o’clock in this house so you better get to bed.” Zack and I sort of ignored her because the whole “bed time thing” was totally made up and we were having a good chat.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t catch a break tonight. After staying in Zack’s room to talk to him, my grandma called me into her room to scold me. Apparently she found it very inappropriate that I was in a guy’s room talking, “especially a married man.” In some ways I understand where she’s coming from, but when two people are just friends and have solid boundaires, then I don’t see the problem.
I don’t understand why it’s “inappropriate” for guys to be friends with girls. All of my friends are guys, so I’m used to hanging out ALONE with them. I think that’s why I didn’t find it an issue to talk to Zack in his room, especially because the door was open. I believe that it shouldn’t be a problem for the opposite sex to be friends. Lots of people think that it’s risky because there can be attraction, but that shouldn’t stop you from having friends that are of the opposite sex.
After having our conversation interrupted, Zack and I continued to talk through text messaging. It was in this moment that I realized how different it was to be with my mom’s family and my dad’s. I feel like I cannot truly be myself when I’m with my dad’s family because they are more uptight, while my mom’s side makes me feel accepted and loved.
I feel like I am suffocating. I’m stuck in a house where I can’t be myself because if a show even a little part of it, I get told off. Its like I’m an animal trapped in a cage with no way to escape and take my true form.
I look forward to tomorrow when Zack and I go for a run, alone, with only the hills in our way. If it were possible, I would stay away the whole day to just be free and not have a care in the world. I hate pretending to be someone that I’m not, so I think running will be the best medicine because I’ll be able to be as loud as I want because Zack doesn’t mind and we can have a conversation without being interrupted.